So it's pretty apparent that I have no schedule for this blog, and anything pops up at anytime. Usually there's a post at least once a week, sometimes not. Mainly this is because 2 reasons:
1. I like to write out post the day before I post them.
2. I go to school which leaves me with either very scarce time to post or too much time on my hands.
Specifically because of reason #1, I can't effectively have a review of each month's issue before everyone else. Point is, if I review each month's issue: Coo.
If not: you can look forward to reviews of Batman the Animated Series!
When? Lol idk.
First thing is i'm gonna have to find a way to post the episodes in parts and clips, without going to youtube. But when it comes it'll be cool:
Like Batman.
So this post was fairly pointless, so i'll just Christian Bale now (Buh Dum Tss)
Get it? Bale? Like Bail out, but Bale because Christian Bal... Bye.
In the aftermath of Bat-Hound Week, I have no idea what to post. So let's lower those expectations by seeing something dumb. I mean REAL dumb. Like the dumbest thing Batman has ever done.
But first a little history lesson:
In case you didn't know, the Yellow-Oval Bat-Symbol on the Bat-suit's chest is supposed to be a target for gunfire, with Kevlar behind it. This is so Batman doesn't get shot in the head, and instead the chest.
Admittedly it's pretty stupid to put a target anywhere on your body, but the yellow oval symbol works at least.
But there are other ways to draw gunfire that work well to, in fact too well. Such as in Detective Comics #241, "The Rainbow Batman" where we see Batman's other idea for a way to draw gunfire away from his head:
I think this is actually numbing my mind. This is SHEER STUPIDITY at it's worst. What on God's Green Earth could posses you to do that?! Oh, how about going to a Sharpshooting Competition?
...I wonder what happens next!
Um...? I don't know, what did you expect? This is just one of those things that is so stupid there isn't much to say about it. He didn't even once begin to doubt the ingenuity of his plan on the car ride over?
I'd tell you the reason behind the infamous Multi Colored Bat-Suits and why he wore them, but then i'd have to go into more detail. Which would involve more cringing. And the reason he wore them was stupid anyways. Maybe one day.
I've read quite a large sum of Batman comics, but this so far has taken the trophy as:
Well, here we are at the end of Bat-Hound Week. We'll look at one more Bat-Hound featured issue, and call it quits to move on.
Just kidding. We're going to look at 5 Bat-Hound centered stories. Because i'm insane. In order of me reviewing them, we will look at Batman #162, #103, #143, #123, & #152. And I thought Batman vs Hydra was the longest post i'd ever do. I was wrong. We're in for a ride today, folks. A long, long, long, long, long ride.
I dare you to read this whole post.
First up is Batman #162 by Bill Finger and Sheldon Moldoff. I'm actually starting to wonder if there was some Secret Cult among DC back in the day that only allowed these two to do Bat-Hound Stories. Because it's ridiculous how many Bat-Hound stories they have done together. And by ridiculous I mean Every. Single. One. -Is by Bill Finger and Sheldon Moldoff. But I digress.
This story actually isn't about Bat-Hound, but he's called in as backup when Batman is turned into an Ape Monster. That's one of those sentences you only ever get to use once.
I love how they're all scared of Zoo animals except Bat-Hound. He's like "I've always wanted to wrestle a Rhino. You wanna go cat? You got something to say?!"
So they use Bat-Hound to follow the scent of one of the bad guy's monster-animal-things to the villains' hideout. When they arrive they immediately run away in terror of zoo animals, but then Monster-Batman shows up and saves them. They fight the bad guys and turn Batman back to normal:
Actually, I'm, not entirely sure why I included this. Oh well.
See, Batman is just the type of person who can't stand it when somebody has something nice. This is Clearly Bat-Hound's Movie. But noooooooo. They have to have some of the spotlight. He has 10 movies. 11 when Batman vs Superman comes out. But Ace can't have one? Give him a Bone, man (buh dum tss).
Oh man, is this gonna be good. So how did Bat-Hound land a movie role? It's the golden age, that's how.
Ah, so it's the "Favorite Four Legged Friend" in this issue.
Now Batman, just because Mr. Gore has a bald spot doesn't mean you have to call him "baldy". That's just rude.
Yeah I'm sorry I made you look at that.
Anyways, they catch Al gore and put him in prison. Later, we see some sort of Hollywood executive stalking researching Bat-Hound as a possible movie star:
Oh, and I totally called Ace having his own trophy room:
Only the Fourth crime he's helped solve? I don't think so.
So just a trophy case, but close enough. Not exactly sure what the key is from, if it is from anything.
So we continue from the Executives' POV where we see Bat-Hound beat the tar out of the guys on the cover of this issue:
ACTUALLY Bat-Hound Tripped AND Disarmed them. Batman and Robin did nothing.
Then "PG" has the idea of a Bat-Hound movie, and thus here we are.
So Batman and Robin get the telegram, which is a fantastic way to date your material, and they show up at the studio 2 days later:
I think PG uses "Top Make-Up Man" very loosely here. In example: Sure Percy's the best at making special effects makeup look nice and realistic. But on the other hand he's clinically insane.
"A poodle Haircut!"
Clinically. Insane.
And "Percy" doesn't stop while he's ahead. No, he goes ahead with his idea and...
Yeah, that's why Batman doesn't smile.
You know Batman, that man is mentally ill. It's not his fault. He's just a crazy guy with a bad sense of humor
Huh.
Speaking of killers and psychotics, the issue then switches over to the Gotham Penitentiary:
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"? Was there really a need for 18 E's? An "Oh no, he got out" would suffice. And I call bull on "First escape here in ten years". No. Batman cleans up your mess's all the time.
So then it cuts to one week later where filming for Bat Hound: The Movie has began:
You know, I HATE IT when Bat-Hound gets hurt. You shouldn't hit dogs.
Wait the first seen is Batman drowning? That's actually pretty original for an opening scene, but not very fitting for a film of 1956.
So anyways Al Gore begins his dastardly plot of using a REAL LOG (wow) to beat Batman. That's just evil. No, but what is evil is that the log ends up hitting Bat-Hound. Which Batman has a sigh of relief to.
And is it just me, or is there always something special about Bat-Hound being at a river:
So peaceful.
So after Bat-Hound is hit by the log, Batman saves Ace from drowning. Hey, wait a second...
That's how they first met! History repeats itself.
No, he just doesn't like people who hit him with logs. Neither do I.
So Bat-Hound recognizes his scent, making Al Gore flee to the trailer
Ummm... No. Dogs sense of smell is a few thousand times keener than a human's.
...Or not. Maybe Bat-Hound just really likes smokers. Hence him hanging out with Batman (A former smoker)
So they get ready to film a Boat Fire Scene, which leads me to believe the movie is nothing but action, when:
Something of course goes awry. Anyways, a really cool moment is coming up:
And I present to you; an Ace Always Get's the Best Art moment:
Oh yes.
Following this, everyone thought they just improvised and decided to go on with the filming. So I guess their being nearly killed and the loss of an entire ship means nothing.
So they could only tell it's him by his baldness? Huh.
"GET BACK TO SMOKING OR I'M TEARING OUT YOUR JUGULAR"
"I TOLD YOU TO KEEP SMOKING"
You know Batman, after he hit Bat-Hound with a log, it's perfectly acceptable to make fun of his bald spot. So anyways, they chase him to another studio lot where the beat Mr. Gore with a Fully Functioning Robot:
"Oh no, I'm losing my balance! AHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" is usually the part where someone dies in the golden age. So this is new.
Or Robin does? It'd be more fitting if Bat-Hound got to beat him. Whatever.At least it tied up nicely in the last panel.
"You guys fought a Fully Functioning Giant Robot without me? We'll see about that."
And now, an exclusive Teaser Trailer for Bat-Hound: The Movie:
I'd like to Imagine this is the movie they are filming.
Well, we're 2/5 the way done now. I wonder if there's a post capacity limit?
NEXT!
Batman #143 by Bi-
Quiz Time!
What two people always work together on Bat-Hound Stories:
How did this come to be? How about nice cup of exposition, as provided by the Narrator:
Panel 1: Why do they always fight paper thieves when they're with Bat-Hound? 7/10
Panel 2: "Flatten!" 10/10
Panel 3: Bat-Hound doing an Environmental Takedown 11/10
Panel 4: Bat-Hound doing an Intimidation Takedown 11/10
Panel 5: If Batman disappears on Gordon, Bat-Hound disappears on Batman 10/10
So after foiling the "Lippy Yates" gang (what stupid name, no wonder he became a crook), Bat-Hound starts barking at Batman and Robin to Follow:
So racing through the woods, we see the titanic battle between state troopers and A Giant Alien:
Yeaaaa- No. Even if the bulldozer happened to be on and running, for it to make the distance it while not hitting the troopers before the pole fell is impossible highly unlikely. Otherwise why didn't they just move out of the way if they had so much time?
So next they try to use a rifle, because pistols worked so well, on the creature. But as we all know, the golden age is always full of shenanigans:
Yes, that was Bat-Hound disarming an officer of law
And as you can see, we're back to the cover
Yes that was Bat-Hound refusing to follow Batman's orders:
Make Me. I'm not your boy blunder, nor your sidekick. I am your partner. If you don't like my methods, you can't have my resources. Sniff it out yourself.
So finally, the truth comes out when they find the alien's spaceship:
With a change of plans, the The Three Manhunters begin to follow the tracks when our exposition comes to an end:
Death is so funny. Haha! I crack me up. I'll do anything to distract myself from my stupid name, really.
So if you've been paying attention, you know that we're now full circle with the intro to the story and what comes next:
"But it has such menacing flippers! How could it not be evil!?"
And finally, they all team up to fight "Lippy Yates":
Yet another Disarm Takedown by Bat-Hound. 10/10.
"Lippy Yates". The more I hear his name, the more I think I recognize it from somewhere. And the more I think he has the worst name in all comics.
Anyways, this issue ends in a pretty dark way:
But you're going to save him, right? Batman?!
Well that raises a lot of questions. I'm sure science could have benefitted some way from that, and there was at least 3 witnesses that know where it is.
But back to being sad:
...
Not exactly my forte of music, but it's what I thought of.
Poor Bat-Hound. May you fiend proper Requiem for your friend. RIP The Creature.
NEXT!
Although we won't be looking at the story, here's a Nice cover featuring Bat-Hound Detective Comics #254 by Dave Wood(?) and Sheldon Moldoff. Maybe Bill Finger took a break from Bat-Hound writing for an issue:
If your interested in knowing, the story had Bat-Hound tracking down an ounce of a super explosive compound stole by thieves.
NEXT!
Extra Story: I'll look at an issue which wasn't mentioned up above. I did this because it is only one page he appears in (but epically), and for those who haven taken the dare to read the entire post.
So let's take a brief gander over at Detective Comics #318 by Jack Miller(?) and Sheldon Moldoff. I don't know who Jack Miller is or was, but at least there's still good ol' Mr. Moldoff. The entire appearance is Bat-Hound saving Batman and Robin from a trap, and then helping them to defeat Catman:
...Pretty epic for one page, huh?
NEXT!
Onward is Batman #123, by Bill Finger and Sheldon Moldoff and Bill Finger and Sheldon Moldoff and Bill Finger and Sheldon Moldoff and Bill Finger and Sheldon Moldoff and Bill Finger and Sheldon Moldoff and Bill Finger and Sheldon Moldoff:
Why is Bat-Hound on a leash?
Oh did I repeat myself up there? I say Bill Finger and Sheldon Moldoff so consistently sometimes it just rolls of my tongue.
Anyways, lets dig in. Actually not yet, we need a snack break:
Go ahead and get ourself a snack before continuing.
Are we good? Alright:
"Touching the world's largest fishing billboard is illegal, Batman!"
And Can I imagine Batman a criminal? Sure:
Plenty of times actually. DKR, Brave and the Bold, etc...
So I that's probably the most amount of "I need exposition to be explained" on a cover I've ever seen. So Narrator, how about another batch of your world famous exposition:
"*Ahem.* 991,052 counts of Assault and Battery, 40,123 counts of Breaking and Entering, 30 counts of Murder in all degrees, 6,000 counts of being a Murder Accomplice, 507 counts of Flying in an Unauthorized Fly Zone, 9,002 counts of Evading Police Custody, 5,025 counts of War Crimes, 800 counts of Harboring Weapons of War, 527 counts of Assaulting an Officer of law, 698 counts of Obstructing Justice, 900 counts of Conspiracy, 60 counts of Jaywalking, 2,091 counts of Trespassing, 564 counts of Defying Curfew, 355 counts of Entering the country illegally, 356 counts of Exiting the country illegally, 21 counts of Terrorism, 4,000 counts of illegal Drug Use, 900 counts of Stalking, 1,002 counts of Kidnapping, 605 counts of Fraud, 27,000 counts of Theft, 500,000 counts of Destruction of Private Property, 801,000 counts of Destruction of Public Property, 800,001 counts of Destruction of Public Land, 200,000 counts of Child Endangerment, 56,000 counts of Child Abuse, 760 counts of Slander, 100,000 counts of Animal Endangerment, 300 counts of Animal Abuse, 8Crimes Against Humanity, Committing all of the 7 Seven Deadly SinsSeveral Times, Breaking of the 10 Commandments, 9 counts of Unpaid Parking Tickets and a total of 998,100,000,876 counts of Vigilantism."
And then surprisingly we get to see them Fight! (From far away)
Which leads us to Bat-Hound's entrance, which is why we're here anyways:
Which leads us back to the intro of this story. With nothing explained whatsoever.
Moreover Bat-Hound will, but Robin is some assistance to him I'm sure.
I like how the fish swings with Batman as he escapes:
"Robin and Bat-Hound may have left me, but at least I still have you Bat-Fish"
So after ditching them again, the center of attention goes to Batman, who isn't quite the master of stealth anymore:
"Yeah! Now he's a crook too-- Just like us! Haw! Haw!" I'll never understand criminal humor.
So Batman being tired and all, comes up with one of his Genius plans.
"I'm wanted for crimes to point my own partners are hunting me on a city wide manhunt with the police! I better reveal my identity to criminals. It just seems like that's the best course of action right now."
One of these day's i'll make a compilation of all these great plans of Batman and post it. And then face-palm from embarrassment.
So after teaming up with the crooks, we see what they see, and who is behind the cowl:
Any comic that would use the Gotham Globe over the Gotham Gazette get's docked 1 point in my book. Then again this issue was wrote by Bill Finger who created both newspapers, so it get's a pass.
Frank Tyler?
Then things get pretty awesome:
Panel 1: A bunch of Jibber Jabber 4/10
Panel 2: A Water Tank. I have loved Gotham Water Tanks ever since I played Arkham City. 11/10
Panel 3: An office building inside a Water Tank. You can't get more "Gotham" than that. 10/10
Panel 4: More Jibber Jabber. 4/10
Panel 5: Double Crossed! 9/10
Seriously though. Imagine if "Lucky-Lane"'s family doesn't know he's a criminal. And then one day the In-Laws showed up to stay at his house for a few days in an unexpected visit. Then the next morning they ask where he works now. And he... takes them out to a Water Tank with a fully furnished office inside. Yeah.
I also like to imagine him leaving his house every morning and trying to beat traffic on the way to the office Water Tank. Then he sits there all day and does illegal paperwork in a hopefully air conditioned empty Water Tank.
I really like Lucky-Lane, the more I think about him.
So anyways Bat-Hound and Robin arrive:
Once again, way too much to review at once.
Panel 1: From what I can tell, Batman just punched a gun. It sounds cool when you say it out loud. 9/10
Panel 2: Any 3 of them should be able to get to Lucky-Lenny from that distance. Unless he's Lucky (Buh Dum Tss). 4/10
Panel 3: Epic Water Tank Art 11/10
Panel 4: Bat-Hound Disarming a crook 11/10
Panel 5: A nice clean Prison inside a Water Tank, that is!
Also: Bat-Hound always get's the best art:
"YI-III!" Is probably how I'd react too if I had a Hound from heck itself coming after me.
So after capturing Lucky, we skip to a while later at his hearing:
I guess Frank's an okay guy! That's rare!
You know what's worse than Batman's dumb ideas? When he tries to explain them. How did it go from things like this to him being a contingency plan master? Whatever.
And "Red Mask Gang" you say?:
Anyways, we get a awesome little closing panel:
Which, if cropped correctly, makes a good Christmas Card:
Not exactly a Bat-Hound centered issue either, but it had just enough moments to make the list.
Just a friendly reminder: We're only 4/5 done.
NEXT!
Batman #152 By Bill Finger and Sheldon Moldoff:
Unfortunately, Ace's appearance is in the story "Formula For Doom", not the False Face Society one. This story has Bat-Hound once again tracking down explosives, but this time it's Nazi Explosives. ooooooooh.
This post is getting so long that some of the pictures are starting to not work. Hopefully they'll start working again by the time I post this.
So anyways, we open with everyone hanging out in the cave while Bruce makes meth some sort of chemical. Then they all get called by the police, even Bat-Hound, to help out by using the Bat-Sniffer to track down a renegade scientist:
Which leads us back to the intro, at a relatively fast time:
That's a lot to take in, so;
Panel 1: "Ulp, I'm about to be cut in half!" 10/10
Panel 2 & 3: Robin almost dying semi comedically 10/10
Panel 4: Bat-Hound doges a bullet 9/10
Panel 5: Bat-Hound kicking dirt in someone's eye 11/10
Panel 6: A conveniently placed plot plane 6/10
Wow this post is long. Anyways, the guy gets away on his plane and flies to Europe. So the Masked Trio interrogate the Scientist:
Alright, I'm game. Where did Kuzak go and Who's behind all this?
So we meet again. I would stop the issue right here and now except for the fact that Bat-hound has another appearance in it. I never wanted to see Hydra in a Batman comic again (see link above), but I'm cornered here.
What's worse is this issue is older than Batman #167, which was published before Marvel's Hydra. This went completely under my radar. Actually, everyone's radar. Unless there's an even older appearance from before this issue, this is Hydra's first appearance.
Not good.
Having the idea of "Cut of one head another shall take it's place" as a motto? {✓}
Having public assassinations of even their own members to hide evidence of them? {✓}
Poor Robin. He was just trying to put his German class to good use, and for what? He get's yelled at for knowing a word in german
"Briefkasten is the word for mail, which is what is on the mailbox! He might be in Germa-"
"NO, ROBIN. YELLOW MAILBOXES."
"What does that have to do with anythi-"
"YELLOW MAILBOXES"
"Yes boss"
Meanwhile, in the Batplane:
I suspect Yellow Mailboxes.
Meanwhile, in a sinister Winter Wonderland:
Now, get ready for the most exposition thrown at you in a total of 2 panels you'll ever see:
Thats like, 88% of the entire plot. in four speech bubbles.
And if you were wondering, that is exactly what I pictured Feverant Nazi Enforcers as
If that doesn't scream Nazi, I don't know what does.
And thus, the old Nazi scientist says "Why Not"?
Well aren't you just a little Einstein
Dun Dun Dun. So really this is issue is just your basic Atomic Bomb-Nazi-WW2-Hitler plot. Except it has Bat-Hound:
"Look Robin, YELLOW HOUSES"
It's too bad they didn't give Bat-Hund skiis. What if his paws got cold? And did they park on the top of the mountain for some reason? Why not just land in the town? Because then they couldn't bust out the Bat-Skiis of course.
I hope this issue ends soon. My jokes are getting worse.
Meanwhile, the villains are cooking Meth Explosives and decide it's ready. And our Trio FINALLY finds them:
That is NOT an X, Robin. I don't even know what that is.
Also:
"HOW?! YELLOW MAILBOXES!"
"Wha-"
"Just go with it, guys".
And:
Bat-Hound always gets the best art
But then the Hill Billies Nazis remember they do have highly explosive vials on hand:
"Now you're going to tie yourself up, and then let me Ski away evilly.
What they didn't remember, however, is BAT-HOUND:
YES.
NEXT!
Even More content I did not list above, for those who read the whole post. And if you just scrolled down, don't cheat. Go back up and read.
Let's look at Bat-Hound in video form:
Batman Beyond:
Which was about all I could find. He appeared a few times in Brave and the Bold, but i can't find any clips. Or any clips from him in Krypto the Superdog, either.
And so, we're at the end of Bat-Hound Week. Just kidding. Montage Time:
And now, friends:
Bat-Hound Week is concluded.
I suppose if I learned anything from Bat-Hound week, it's that Ace the Bat-Hound matters.
