Robin is terrifying when he's angry

     I got around to re-reading one of my favorite Batman issues finally. Not only does it have a story that is historic to Batman lore, but another totally underrated story about Commissioner Gordon's Great-Grandfather as well. I'll post the Gordon story later, but for now we talk about Aunt Agatha and how Robin should never be left alone with her.

     Batman #89 by Bill Finger and Sheldon Moldoff, everybody:

I swear one of these days i'll review a modern comic. The golden age is just too easy to pick on.

     We open in Wayne Manor, home of Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson who are changing clothes together in the living room when they hear someone at the door.

Ah, the infamous "deer in the headlights look" of the golden age. A personal favorite.

     The someone of course is Bruce's Aunt Agatha. I'm not exactly sure which side of Bruce's family she is from, though. She might be a Kane, but there is absolutely nothing I can find that reassures this. If she were a Wayne, she would run Wayne enterprises. Then again, why didn't Silas run Wayne Enterprises? So the best bet is she's Thomas Wayne's sister.

   I especially love her interaction with dick on the next page:

"...The orphaned boy my nephew adopted! A dear, dear child!"

"CHILD!??"

     I mean he seriously looks like he's about to bust out the robin style navy seal copypasta on her.

"What the frick did you just fricking say about me, you little old lady? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Child Vigilantes, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on the Gotham criminal underworld, and I have over 300 confirmed criminals in the state pen. I am trained in acrobatic warfare and I’m the top sidekick in the entire DC universe. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the frick out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my frickin words. You think you can get away with saying that crap to me on my doorstep? Think again, fricker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of sidekicks across the USA and your body heat signature is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your consciousness. You’re frickin dead meat, lady. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can hurt you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Batcave and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable butt off the face of Gotham, you little crap. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your frickin tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goshdang idiot. I will go number 2 fury all over you and you will drown in it." 
"You’re eff'n dead, granny."

     So anyways Bruce tries pulling the "Shame *hint hint* you're only staying *hint hint* for one day *hint hint*" like we all do when unwanted relatives pop by unannounced. But even the Batman is treated with the same result as us, it doesn't work.

     So when she nods off, they slip on their suits and try to sneak out only to be caught by Agatha. The real center of attention is their reactions. Batman more or less is just annoyed. Robin's face takes the expression of pure vexation.

By now you can tell that Robin straight up despises Aunt Agatha. I'm talking the seething hate you get when you meet a person and instantly know no matter how hard you try to like them, you will naturally hate them.

Just look at his face.

 If Bruce hadn't stuck his arm in between Agatha and Robin, i'm pretty sure there'd be a storyline called "Dick Grayson: Murderer".

"Now you march back in here and put on your Rubbers! Tsk-Tsk."

"Batman and Robin must wear Rubbers?"

I'm not sure that i'm entirely comfortable about the use of "Rubbers" here. Yikes.

     So anyways (I get side tracked easily) Agatha just assumed they were going to a costume party. I think the writer was trying to play on the whole Agatha was Semi-Senile thing, but it didn't really turn out that way. A costume party actually is more realistically plausible than a millionaire becoming a vigilante.

     Next Agatha makes them take rubbers and umbrellas because the weather is supposed to be bad tonight and sends them on their way.

     At least Robin calmed down and got a good kick out of Batman looking ridiculous and all. But then he went ahead and vented all his anger on the robbers. Compared to Batman, he destroyed them.
And they say Jason Todd's the angry Robin.

     So while Batman is in awe of Robin venting his aggression, he gets knocked off a building and somehow glides down with his umbrella. And yes, this comic issue (1955) is older than Mary Poppins (1964).

Batman did it First!

     I have no doubt that Robin could have taken the rest of them, but he was probably worried what would happen if basic physics applied to the umbrella and Batman went splat.

"That was quite a Storm I WEATHERED haha. You get it? Because I... Uh... Please don't hurt me, you're scary when you're angered Robin."

     When Batman and Robin get home, they bask in how cool it is that Agatha hasn't figured out the truth yet. Well Batman does. Robin just glares from the doorway. Then the next day Bruce takes Agatha to the city for a tour and Dick puts on a happy face.

     And then later that night when they Agatha goes to bed, which Dick can't help but smile at, they follow up on the robbers case. Notice how Robin is being all paranoid Agatha will show up at any minute.

Calm down there, Dracula.

     I was actually genuinely surprised by the Joker appearance for a good 17 seconds. But what struck me more is that Robin reacted more strongly to Agatha appearing than Joker. It's no secret now that he hates Agatha, but more than Joker? Jeez.

     Also; Robin's mask is on in panels 1, 2, 3 & 4 but suddenly off in panel 5. Then it's back on in panel 6.

"It sure is lucky this turned out just the way I planned instead of the blades cutting my head off!"

     So the hoods decide to bail when Agatha pulls out *Ahem* Twin Pistols and holds them at gunpoint while threatening to kill them. Robin's rage turns to shock.

     And on our final page, we see the epic sky battle conclude and the story tie up. The first panel is hilarious if you think about it. Look at Brucemans face. That has to be a feeling he and very scarce others know. That brief awkward moment when you and a crook are free falling and staring at each other mid air.

"Don't forget to wear your rubbers when it rains!"

I hope your talking about boots, Auntie A.

     The story ties up with Agatha giving them an old fashion scolding and Robin finding a newfound respect for her because of the double pistols in her belt. What's also curious is the narrator says Days later when she leaves. What did Bruce and Dick do the rest of the nights to sneak out? The masquerade ball was over so they couldn't use that excuse again.

     So that's the great Aunt Agatha us bloggers like to talk about occasionally. I'm certainly not the first to post it, but i'm the latest! And that's that.

Well, My ride's her-

Actually I better check on Robin before I leave.

"Dick? Are you all right?"

"GET OUT!"

"YUP ALRIGHT SEE YOU AROUND DICK GOTTA GO"

See you tomorrow!

Happy Bat-Thanksgiving!

From one of my favorite blogs: http://comicsalliance.com/bizarro-back-issues-batman-in-the-worst-thanksgiving-ever/

Remember that time Batman had Thanksgiving with Grundy? It was in "The Long Halloween".

Surely you all remember Aunt Agatha

     Happy Bat-Thanksgiving!

See you whenever I feel like posting again!

In which Batman is defeated by an Elephant

When was the last time you visited your Grandfather's house? 

     My Grandfather has this big Grandfather Clock at his house which no one is allowed to touch. What he doesn't have is fake raccoon tails and fur scarfs to go clubbing every night in furry raves with.

      Batman #120, everyone.

     We open at at Wayne Manor where Bruce and Dick receive a call about a strange blue light coming from Stevens Storage Warehouse. 
     A Perfectly fine reason to call Batman and Robin. Scary blue lights.

     I'm sorry, but is that guy carrying an entire Grandfather Clock?

     And a lamp (which is on somehow)?! Seriously dude. It's a robbery. Not a competition. Jerk.

"Baws iss gunna' be so proud 'uf me"

"I's goin' places mama'. I's goin' places."

   
Like I said earlier, fake raccoon tails and fur scarfs:

So anyways, onto Batman vs the Elephant:

Ready? Here comes Batman's epic battle against an uncontrollable Zoo Behemoth! Behold: Batman Vs. The Mad Elephant

"Killing you would only end your pain. No- Instead, I will...

"BREAK YOU!"

"Why didn't you just... Kill me?"

"Your punishment must be more... Severe."

     Okay so maybe I hyped it up a little but I'm driving a point here. During Knightfall, why didn't Batman go to the Whirly-Bat?
Scratch that.
     Why didn't Batman just get some super awesome vehicle to fight crime with while he was crippled? Actually I know dang well why. Bats was absolutely Destroyed by Bane. Also I just like poking fun at the contrasts between Knightfall and this issue.

"But I wouldn't let something as silly as being crippled stop me from crimefighting. Pffffft."

   And yes, here's some Whirly-Bat action for you.

"But why do I have to use a Whirly-Bat? I'm not crippled!"

"Quiet Robin"

"Yes Boss."

     Not quite as epic as the Mad Elephant battle but hey, its the Mad Elephant. He can't be topped. He Broke the Bat. First. Bane has nothing on the Mad Elephant.

     Well, ride is here:

See you whenever I feel like posting again!

Batcave Trophy Origins: The Giant T-Rex

     Every Bat-Blog has a post about Batman's trophies, it's obligatory. So to make mine different than the others I will include the entire comic it originated from.

    Arguably the most famous trophy Batman has is the Mechanical T-Rex. Unlike the Giant Penny, which has three origins, the T-Rex has always had one. Dinosaur Island baby.

     From Batman #35 by Bob Kane and Bill Finger. Just knowing it's by those two, you can tell it's a classic and a masterpiece issue.

     Now that's an epic cover. Let's Begin:

     We open in "The luxurious office of Murray Wilson Hart, Master Showman and Specialist in the Spectacular". Whatever that's supposed to mean.

     Mr. Hart, who only allows his employees to reply to him with "Yes Mr. Hart!", is pondering how he can top his last shows when he reads the newspaper and inspiration strikes:

I really like the toy T-Rex that's biting the other toy T-Rex. Details people.

     Hold on, did Batman just totally sell out? And for $5000? Huh. I guess it is for charity but really though:
     Bruce Wayne's money eats the money that eats this guys money for a pre-breakfast snack and appetizer. $5000 should be nothing to Batman even in the 1940's. Every dollar counts I guess?
     And don't be a jerk, Mr. Breach. He didn't forget about Dinosaur Island. He never heard of it until literally just when it tumbled out of your mouth, Mr. "Breach". Who eats mammoth meat anyways?

     It's nice how they never give this guy a real back story other than he was just a criminal. How he got into the dinner party? Idk. You tell me.

Since when do plain rocks gleam?

     Alright but now the issue gets straight up AWESOME. Full of action, survivalist mode Batman and Robin, Dinosaurs fights, Cavemen fights, pterodactyls, etc. Just read it:

YES

YES

YES

YES

     Oh man, that got my heart racing. I know it's a 40's comic, but dang. 

Recap:

• Batman gets charged at by a Triceratops Styracosaurus, dodges, it break it's neck and lands on it's back like my dog does when she wants a belly rub.
• In the water, Bats and Birdboy try to get to some land.
• BUT HAH! What they thought was a piece of land was another Dinosaur (A Plesiosaurus). Oh gosh. 
• The Plesiosaurus FLINGS Robin. FLINGS HIM.
• Then it decides to eat Batman. How many times do you think Batman has been chomped on by Nessy in his career? Not many.
• Batman shanks Nessy in the throat, and it dies.
• Batman and Robin make some weapons out of the Triceratops Styracosaurus.
• CAVEMEN
• Cavemen fight commences.
• Batman punches a Caveman's head right off.
• Robin shoot a Robot Caveman. It even pretends to die.
• Cavemen wrestling.

And my personal favorite:

• The bad guy decides to go to bed.

     That's a lot of action for a 40's comic. Imagine that animated, that would be a glorious visual. Anyways, Next:

Yes. Yes it is. That is the first appearance of the Mechanical T-Rex.

   And how about the way the villain just casually strolls up riding a T-Rex? That is sheer Epicness Awesomeness Glory.

"Hey Robin; I know we're going up against Robot Dinosaurs and all, but do you think you could use little yellow water balloons against them? I just feel like that's the best route to go".

"... "

"Yes boss, whatever you say boss."

     But no, as you can see the water's purpose was to make the Dino's short circuit. So not a completely bad plan I guess, but i'd use something that could at least injure Mr. Chase too. Maybe boil the water? Where'd they get the water balloons?

     So that's that. Unlike the Giant Penny, I have no idea how they got the T-Rex home, because they're vehicle-less and stranded on an island. It wouldn't fit on the row boat that took them there. They could couldn't even ride it because it short circuited.

Trivia note:

     Whilst readingthis issue, I began to notice uncanny resemblances to "The Most Dangerous Game", which i'm guessing is what Bill Finger at least partially based this issue off of. 

     One of the characters even directly says:

"...Since they hunt the Most Dangerous Perilous Game... Man!"

     Which is literally what "The Most Dangerous Game" is about. A rich safari dude goes crazy, buys an island, kidnaps and takes people there, sets them lose on the island, and then goes hunting for them.

     I haven't read it in years, but it out-dates this comic by 25 years. 

So: "The Most Dangerous Game" + "Jurrassic Park" = Batman #35.

Well, my ride's here:

     See you whenever I feel like posting again!