Robin is terrifying when he's angry

     I got around to re-reading one of my favorite Batman issues finally. Not only does it have a story that is historic to Batman lore, but another totally underrated story about Commissioner Gordon's Great-Grandfather as well. I'll post the Gordon story later, but for now we talk about Aunt Agatha and how Robin should never be left alone with her.

     Batman #89 by Bill Finger and Sheldon Moldoff, everybody:

I swear one of these days i'll review a modern comic. The golden age is just too easy to pick on.

     We open in Wayne Manor, home of Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson who are changing clothes together in the living room when they hear someone at the door.

Ah, the infamous "deer in the headlights look" of the golden age. A personal favorite.

     The someone of course is Bruce's Aunt Agatha. I'm not exactly sure which side of Bruce's family she is from, though. She might be a Kane, but there is absolutely nothing I can find that reassures this. If she were a Wayne, she would run Wayne enterprises. Then again, why didn't Silas run Wayne Enterprises? So the best bet is she's Thomas Wayne's sister.

   I especially love her interaction with dick on the next page:

"...The orphaned boy my nephew adopted! A dear, dear child!"

"CHILD!??"

     I mean he seriously looks like he's about to bust out the robin style navy seal copypasta on her.

"What the frick did you just fricking say about me, you little old lady? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Child Vigilantes, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on the Gotham criminal underworld, and I have over 300 confirmed criminals in the state pen. I am trained in acrobatic warfare and I’m the top sidekick in the entire DC universe. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the frick out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my frickin words. You think you can get away with saying that crap to me on my doorstep? Think again, fricker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of sidekicks across the USA and your body heat signature is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your consciousness. You’re frickin dead meat, lady. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can hurt you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Batcave and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable butt off the face of Gotham, you little crap. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your frickin tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goshdang idiot. I will go number 2 fury all over you and you will drown in it." 
"You’re eff'n dead, granny."

     So anyways Bruce tries pulling the "Shame *hint hint* you're only staying *hint hint* for one day *hint hint*" like we all do when unwanted relatives pop by unannounced. But even the Batman is treated with the same result as us, it doesn't work.

     So when she nods off, they slip on their suits and try to sneak out only to be caught by Agatha. The real center of attention is their reactions. Batman more or less is just annoyed. Robin's face takes the expression of pure vexation.

By now you can tell that Robin straight up despises Aunt Agatha. I'm talking the seething hate you get when you meet a person and instantly know no matter how hard you try to like them, you will naturally hate them.

Just look at his face.

 If Bruce hadn't stuck his arm in between Agatha and Robin, i'm pretty sure there'd be a storyline called "Dick Grayson: Murderer".

"Now you march back in here and put on your Rubbers! Tsk-Tsk."

"Batman and Robin must wear Rubbers?"

I'm not sure that i'm entirely comfortable about the use of "Rubbers" here. Yikes.

     So anyways (I get side tracked easily) Agatha just assumed they were going to a costume party. I think the writer was trying to play on the whole Agatha was Semi-Senile thing, but it didn't really turn out that way. A costume party actually is more realistically plausible than a millionaire becoming a vigilante.

     Next Agatha makes them take rubbers and umbrellas because the weather is supposed to be bad tonight and sends them on their way.

     At least Robin calmed down and got a good kick out of Batman looking ridiculous and all. But then he went ahead and vented all his anger on the robbers. Compared to Batman, he destroyed them.
And they say Jason Todd's the angry Robin.

     So while Batman is in awe of Robin venting his aggression, he gets knocked off a building and somehow glides down with his umbrella. And yes, this comic issue (1955) is older than Mary Poppins (1964).

Batman did it First!

     I have no doubt that Robin could have taken the rest of them, but he was probably worried what would happen if basic physics applied to the umbrella and Batman went splat.

"That was quite a Storm I WEATHERED haha. You get it? Because I... Uh... Please don't hurt me, you're scary when you're angered Robin."

     When Batman and Robin get home, they bask in how cool it is that Agatha hasn't figured out the truth yet. Well Batman does. Robin just glares from the doorway. Then the next day Bruce takes Agatha to the city for a tour and Dick puts on a happy face.

     And then later that night when they Agatha goes to bed, which Dick can't help but smile at, they follow up on the robbers case. Notice how Robin is being all paranoid Agatha will show up at any minute.

Calm down there, Dracula.

     I was actually genuinely surprised by the Joker appearance for a good 17 seconds. But what struck me more is that Robin reacted more strongly to Agatha appearing than Joker. It's no secret now that he hates Agatha, but more than Joker? Jeez.

     Also; Robin's mask is on in panels 1, 2, 3 & 4 but suddenly off in panel 5. Then it's back on in panel 6.

"It sure is lucky this turned out just the way I planned instead of the blades cutting my head off!"

     So the hoods decide to bail when Agatha pulls out *Ahem* Twin Pistols and holds them at gunpoint while threatening to kill them. Robin's rage turns to shock.

     And on our final page, we see the epic sky battle conclude and the story tie up. The first panel is hilarious if you think about it. Look at Brucemans face. That has to be a feeling he and very scarce others know. That brief awkward moment when you and a crook are free falling and staring at each other mid air.

"Don't forget to wear your rubbers when it rains!"

I hope your talking about boots, Auntie A.

     The story ties up with Agatha giving them an old fashion scolding and Robin finding a newfound respect for her because of the double pistols in her belt. What's also curious is the narrator says Days later when she leaves. What did Bruce and Dick do the rest of the nights to sneak out? The masquerade ball was over so they couldn't use that excuse again.

     So that's the great Aunt Agatha us bloggers like to talk about occasionally. I'm certainly not the first to post it, but i'm the latest! And that's that.

Well, My ride's her-

Actually I better check on Robin before I leave.

"Dick? Are you all right?"

"GET OUT!"

"YUP ALRIGHT SEE YOU AROUND DICK GOTTA GO"

See you tomorrow!