Batman did it first: Hydra

Before I begin I just want to say

I didn't want this. I was just reading Batman Zero Hour:

No not that Zero Hour, this Zero Hour:

And I was reading the first page when something caught my eye:

Either Marvel copied Batman (again), or Batman copied Marvel

Here's what I mean:

Yup. You read that right. Batman versus a worldwide terrorist organization named HYDRA.

So like I said: Did Marvel copy Batman, or did Batman copy Marvel? I am thoroughly sorry to inform that Marvel copied Batman, just like it did with Thor. This issue was released November 1964, Marvel's Strange Tales #135 (where marvels Hydra debuted) was released August 1965.

But i'm sure the international terrorist organization Hydra that debuted a year earlier will be completely different than the one we all know and love. Let's Begin:

Batman #167 by Bill Finger and Bob Kane everybody!

"...And be away before anybody can stop me from dropping cyanide"

Since when were planes golden? Outside of Abu Dhabi I mean. An informant about this "Hydra" organization is publicly assassinated, which we'll ignore for now, and then he assailent dies as well by accidental getting-hit-by-golden-plane syndrome. 1 in 4 you know.

And also: "His secrets have died with him!". Wow that's never happened to one of Marvel's Hydra Agents!

So we pick up later at GCPD headquarters where I have a heart attack:

And let me say: NO

NO

NO

I'm sorry, did I mention NO?

Darn you, Stan Lee and Jack Kirby! I love you two with all my heart all my comic wisdom but this is unacceptable. They even stole Hydra's catch phrase from this! Do you know how famous that catch phrase has become! 

If you say "chop off one head, two more shall take it's place" at a comic con, people will say "Hail Hydra". Do you know how weird and awkward it is know Gordon is the first person to ever say that? it's creepy is what it is. 

Then again, this isn't the first time Gordon has said or done something arguably evil

Gordon has a Dark Side

More on that later.

So meanwhile Captain America Batman and Bucky Robin decide they will bring down Hydra. But meanwhile in Europe we see Baron Von Strucker (this is painful for me too) the Hydra leader plotting.

So Captain America Batman and Bucky Robin team up with the Allies Interpol to help fight Hydra and are told investigate a possible Hydra base at X marks the Sherman or something.

So Captain America Batman Bucky Robin the Worlds Greatest Detective solves the riddle of where it is.

Upon arrival at the base, Captain America Batman and Bucky Robin try to sneak around but are caught and are forced to fisticuffs:

And here we observe the prime example of: "Robin is just a big yellow target"

Aaaaaaaaaaaand we're back to where we were at the beginning. Did I really just find a use for "Where, we, were, [&] we're" all in one sentence? Impressive.

The only difference between that 3rd panel and modern comics is Batman would say he meant to do that

So Captain America Batman and Bucky Robin are saved by a damaged Windmill Blade of Justice which turns the tide of the battle to our heroes. Then they decide to go down stairs where they find...

Diamonds! YES! Something different from Marvel's Hydra! they want diamonds, not global domination! Even though they are still referred to as a vast terrorist organization.

And, um, What is that? That red thing? is that a little boy dressed in nothing but red with a yellow scarf on? An odd looking fire hydrant? Further panels don't clarify anything. This is a seemingly nice scene, but what is that?

?

It appears to be humanoid shaped. I don't know.

Anyways, remember what I said about the Diamonds? That was a lie. What Hydra really wants is world domination through a world war resulting in the death of America. oh comics. hahaha...

"Which the CIA conferred with Batman." Okay, but then why are they in Commissioner Gordon's office? They didn't need to tell him the truth of the false news report. Unless of course, Gordon is behind all this.

Gordon has a Dark Side

So they all decide to trick Hydra into thinking they don't know what's up so they let their guard down.

"Then I can take my rightful place as leader!"

So in their plan to bring down Baron Von Strucker Karabi, they decide to use Batman "cutting off heads" as front while he also tracks down Karabi. Just leave it to Batman to solve everything. Then we flash back to the Bat-Plane:

"l'm sorry Robin, can you fly a plane?"

"Actually, Yes Boss. Remember, you taugh-"

"Quiet Robin"

"Yes Boss."

So arriving at the club, the party starts when Bruce walks in:

"Semaphore!"

And i'm sorry, but that is the perfect definition of looking bad@$$ in a disguise:

"Ah Yes--The Famous Sing-Apore Pelican Menu..."

Dang, Bat got game. Continuing, they follow the lead the dancer gave him to greece where they spy on a fat guy and judge him:

"Just in time too! We accidentally locked ourselves out of the room, you guys gotta' minute?"

So an epic battle commence between the terrorists locked out of their hotel and our heroes, until a tootsie roll commercial from 1964 invades.

"A sick verse, that is!"

SIGH. Only half way through. So the battle continues to continue:

Let's ignore what's wrong with that last panel.

Also:

"Hail Hydra!"

So Batman takes down one of the heads, but another two shall regrow! Or something. Batman lands in Stereotype-land where he receives another clue in braille on the brim of his hat. And this clue leads him to the next head, which is at:

Holy Hostilities, Batman!

The Eiffel Tower! For an entire one panel! WOW! I'm sure that was such a boring battle anyways. Then he returns to Asia, and using his status as World's Greatest Detective, reveals Baron Von Strucker's Karabi's Dastardly Deed, World Domination! It's been a long post, I'm sorry.

It's pretty funny that the editor wouldn't put in any actual country names for "security reasons".

Continuing the never ending story:

...Unless you're Batman? I mean bat's can't see.

Arriving at Machu Picchu "Country A", Batman and Robin investigate the headquarters when they set off an alarm and are attacked by Hydra lackeys. Surprisingly they lose because they can't see, which has never stopped them before, and are taken captive. Then Batman comes face to face with Strucker Karabi himself:

"Watch the Clock, HAHAHAHAH! I'm such a good villain."

And what does Batman do to escape captivity? He beg and pleas for his life of course!

"What makes a tootsie pop so special? They appear in Batman comics!"

My mistake, I thought we were at the end. No, now we are getting close to the end. Now we are 2/3 the way though. You guys know nothing of sacrifice.

So Batman's ultimate plan? What does he have to say that will crush Hydra with a mere sentence?

Psssssssst. I know something you don't. Come here and I'll tell you. It was... PUNCH! Yeah, Best plan ever.

So knocking out the guards with a 3rd grader tactic, Batman frees Robin and Races for Karabi:

"Too bad this Giant Green Clock is about to fall over and smash me to minces. I could've ruled the world."

And in the Epic Conclusion:

...Will Batman Make It In Time To Save The World?!

Yes. Of course he does. thus concluding our time here:

Oh that's Awesome. Nothing like a Punch of JUSTICE.

So that's that. Batman Issue #167 is a rea- 

What? No!

NONONONONONONONONONO!!!!!!!

STILL NOT OVER:

Why won't this issue just end? A bank robbery? I don't see why, but why not I guess:

So they get the goons but the boss gets away. However he left a clue, Wax. Wax from what you say? Here you go:

Yup, lets go skiing. Because anything to keep the story going right? Because it'll always be remembered as Hydra's actual debut?

So anyways they go skiing a little too close to the German/Switzerland Border:

No Batman, he's just doing his job. You should contact authorities before illegally crossing the border on a terrorist manhunt.

"I'm just Border Patrol! Help!"

After the Patrolman goes into a permanent coma, Batman turns him in, therefore accidentally framing him, and our heros go home:

You know what I like? Comics that end eventually.

...And talk about timezones. Thrilling.

________________________________________________________________

Oh man. That was a long issue. It just never ends! Most modern comics are comics than this.

And there you have it. Marvel stole Hydra from DC, or Batman really. You can pick and choose the details, but it's too glaringly obvious. And Gordon was totally the original Hydra leader.

Gordon has a Dark Side

Sorry for the long Post.

Because you waited so long, here's a nice little subscription ad from this issue:

Like finding an extra 20 cents!

Man I would KILL (a squirrel) for a $1.00 dollar Batman subscription. 1964 rocks.

One last thing, I'm about 90% sure that this rocket is the rocket trophy in the Dick Sprang Lithograph:

This

It's right below the penny and to the right of the Burglar Machine. It looks like a bullet

So that's that. Tune in next time to catch a preview of Bat-Hound Week!

Well, my ride's here:

See you whenever I feel like posting next!