The Best Batman- Scratch That- Best Comic Of The Year

You were probably praying that I hadn't read the issue. ANY issue but that one, because you know I won't Shut. The. Fuck. Up. About the character in that issue.

Batman Vol 3 Annual 1.

You cross your fingers because maybe I didn't read the first story. All hope is lost for you. I read that shit and almost cried.

BAT-HOUND, MOTHERFUCKER.

Bat-Hound V Batman: Dawn of Kibble

*Takes Breath*

     So anyways, his origin in the new 52/Rebirth/what-the-fuck-ever continuity DC is going with now is actually pretty cool. Apparently after Bud & Lou died Joker decided to get some new dogs, from what I can tell were named "King, Queen, Jack, and Ace". Because ya know, he's clown, he likes cards, etc. And get it, ACE. Like a playing car- 

     I think you get it. Very clever stuff. Also, very horrifying:

And you wonder why criminals fear a dog with a Bat mask on

And so it turns out that Mistah J isn't the best Dog trainer:

Hmm, that line rings a bell for some reason...

It's probably nothing though. 

"You know that thing could kill us so easy right now, right?"

"...Think it has Parents?"

"Batman NO"

"BATMAN YES"

So it get's taken to the pound, where behind Bruce's Bat-Back, Alfred adopts it

"HELP MAWSTER BRUCE"

Quiet Alfred, Krispy Kreme may be planning the demise of humanity"

And begins training / housebreaking him. Little does Al know, there's nothing you could really teach Bat-Hound, especially in the art of Warfare on the criminal kind.

Anywho Bruce, speaking from experience, believes that the ol Hound can't be saved from what the Joker did to him

December 14th is my birthday. I literally got Bat-Hound for my Birthday.

No, some wounds don't heal.

UNLESS YOU'RE MESSIAH BAT-HOUND JESUS:

     If John Lennon is bigger than Jesus, Bat-Hound is bigger than every musician including John Lennon.

     Anywho, Bat-Hound makes amends with Batman, because ya know, it's Christmas and all:

SECRET HOLY HEALING LICKING POWERS ACTIVATE. You are cured, my disciple.

     And just in time for X-mas, he is Knighted

No. I AM Bat-Hound.

It's a Christmas miracle, there's NOTHING I could ask for more than having Bat-Hound Re-introduced into continuity, and I can't wait to see his future misadventures. Maybe he'll meet an alien?

And here I thought Titus was going to be Bat-Hound.

Well, my rides here

See you next time I feel like posting next! Or whenever I see Bat-Hound in a comic again.

Thoughts on the way DC seems to be taking movies and comics

I consider myself a leading authority on Batman, and by extension DC comics. In the last year DC, and Batman, has had some major stuff happen. In and out of comics.


Let's take a gander:

Batman v Superman:

Come at me bro: The Movie

       Easily the biggest thing DC had happen this year, and let me tell you: Screw the critics, this movie is fuckin amazing. It's artistic, symbolic, true to Batman, and a fantastic start to the DCEU. It opens so many doors, such as the Suicide Squad movie (see below) and other TV shows to be possible. It's influence extends over all of DC right now, and by default marvel because, ya know, they're marvel.

       But on the subject of it's influence, DC comics has decided to model their comics to match the DCEU and TV. What happened to Superman in BvS happened to him in the comics recently. Batman has reacquired some Frank Miller Batman traits again to match BvS. Supergirl's comic title matches her TV show artistically. Etc.

      This movie may have a dark tone, but not all DCEU movies will be dark and neither will the comics. Its all good.

Justice League hype btw

DC Rebirth:

SPOILERS

"Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz"

Like if you really don't know the spoiler of DC: Rebirth #1, turn the fuck around and go read it real quick. You're risking one of those "Empire Strikes Back" twists.

-

-

Watchmen are joining DC Comics' main universe. FUCK MAN. I'm still crazy about this. Alan Moore probably is too, but, you know...

"WTF is this smiley shit doing in my cave? Is that bean juice?"

...In the Alan Moore way.

       The real question this opens up is; if Watchmen are going to be integrated into DCEU as well, where will we see Batman and Doc Manhattan square off and when? I want a trailer. Oh wait

        If only

Suicide Squad:

The DC movie that does marvel better than marvel

       Earlier I mentioned that not all DCEU movies are dark, and this is an example. It's darkly colored and has a few dark moments, but overall its funny, clever, and a perfect follow up to BvS. + It had the fuckin Joker and Batman on screen together for the first time since 2008, even for a little bit. Just a little tasty bait for that Batfleck movie.

Upcoming 2017:

Wonder Woman

I love war movies. I love comic book movies. Hype.

Justice League

OH SHIT NIGGA

Well, my ride's here

See you whenever I feel like posting next!

Here's a picture of Commissioner Gordon in Justice League. JK (Simmons). But no, really

As revealed on Batman Day:

Which, for me anyways, seems to be a call back to his outfit in The Killing Joke:

Is it bad that I want the Batfleck movie so bad? But Justice League is cool too I mean...

Joker joker joker joker joker joker joker joker joker

First there was

And now there is

+

Honestly, I still don't know what to think about letos joker, but I guess we'll see (in a year)

Batman 45: Ovens and art galas

Welcome to batman archives, where some crazy loner reviews comics all alone every now and then. Let's look at batman 45;

*witty joke*

So if you just got done reading this like I did, you probably have some of the following questions like I do;

What does a particle collider have to do with anything?

Why is mr bloom sporting a blimp?

Who is mr bloom?

Well, it turns out I don't have the answers either. The only answer I really have is the identity of mr bloom. Not that that's important anyway, so let's talk about Bat-hound again for the billio-

*Audible grumble from audience*

Okay FINE, I'll talk about who mr bloom is instead. First, I'll have you look at two pictures;

And

Starting to see something? I think that's all I need to say for now. But I do encourage you to go read some zero year. Just sayin.

So, what else is there to taco bout? Oh yeah, how about batman HITTING SOMEONE WITH A SHARK?!

Fish slap

You wannaknow how to tell if an issue was good? By how bipolar it is. Particle colliders, fighting sharks, robots, freaky plant people, and a love story all crammed into one issue.

Rating;

8.8/10

Well, my rides here

See you whenever I feel like posting next!

Starting over

So knowing me, you know this won't be as cheesy as the title leads on. But I do want to cover some things

* I am completely starting over 

You that read right. I won't finish my convergence, endgame, or any thing else I was previously reviewing. I know that sounds crummy, but if I want to get this blog running again, I can't be so behind. The most I'll say is that convergence and endgame were both fantastic.

* Starting soonish, I will continue with the currently being published comics and episodes of batman, with the occasional throwback comic.

Yes, I did say episodes. Gotham reviews coming.

What I mean by currently published is exactly as it means. I won't do any catch ups of per say batman 41-44. By the way, I totally called bat-Gordon. My following reviews will cover batman, tec, dk3 (hype), batgirl, we are robin, Gotham, and 2 movies once they are released. Batman v superman & Star Wars (because Star Wars bitch.)

* I like pizza

For the last few weeks, I found a little ceasers in my town and have been eating there. I hadn't even realized we had one! For the longest time I considered dominoes my standard, and it still is really, but cmon. Little ceasers is the fricken bomb. 

So that's all folks. See ya soon. My rides here and all that

Sup

*Casually continues blogging after going going dark for the better part of a year*

Welcome back